Monday, September 28, 2009
Week 3 Column: Real Men of Genius
The Fantasy Fools Present: Real Men of Genius.
(Real men of genius.)
Today we salute you, Mr. Set Your Lineup on Friday and Walk Away Fantasy Football Guy.
(Mr. Set Your Lineup on Friday and Walk Away Fantasy Football Guy!)
You stubbornly refuse to believe your star players could possibly encounter an eleventh-hour set-back, confident in the notion that once you’ve locked in your starting lineup, nothing can stop your gridiron gladiators from annihilating your out-matched competitor.
(Wes Welker’s gonna torch ‘em!)
Sure, every NFL team publishes its list of inactives well in advance of kickoff, but you’ve got Brian Westbrook at home against the Chiefs, and nothing’s going to spoil that party.
(Bring the pain!)
You’ve even heard your favorite fantasy guru is sending Twitter updates every Sunday, just to make sure you don’t mistakenly start Dwayne Bowe when his hammy flares up prior to the game.
(I’m still working on my MySpace.)
As you strut toward your PC around 3 PM to check your score, you exude the confidence of a Super Bowl champion, even though you haven’t sniffed the fantasy postseason since 2004.
(One and done!)
And then you see it…that all-too-familiar digit heralding another demoralizing loss to the neighbor who loves nothing more than rubbing your nose in your own flower bed every Monday morning.
(How’d he know to start LeSean McCoy?)
So crack open a frosty can of whoop-ass, oh Guardian of the Goose Egg. Because even though you’re 0-and-3, you’ve got Frank Gore at home against the Rams next week.
(Mr. Set Your Lineup on Friday and Walk Away Fantasy Football Guy.)
FREE AGENT PICKS AND PANS
To win a fantasy championship, you need to start with a good draft. But filling in your roster throughout the season with the right free agents is also important. Here’s a look at a few players worth considering, and others who would look better in someone else’s line-up.
Catch ‘em while you can
Glen Coffee, RB, 49ers. Though details are sparse, Frank Gore’s ankle injury seems likely to keep him sidelined through the 49ers’ Week 6 bye. Coffee has not looked particularly strong since the preseason, but home games against the Rams and Falcons offer the rookie a chance to excel in the starter’s absence.
Ladell Betts, RB, Redskins. You’re playing with fire if you own Clinton Portis and don’t have his backup waiting in the wings. Portis has bone spurs in both ankles and did not play well against the Lions. With regime change expected in Washington at any time, and Portis’ durability at issue, Betts could soon be asked to breathe life into the team’s anemic offense.
Pierre Garcon, WR, Colts. I steered you away from Austin Collie when Anthony Gonzalez went down in Week 1, urging you to wait until a clear No. 3 receiving target emerges for the Colts. After registering his second touchdown catch in as many weeks, Garcon has risen to the occasion. The speedster is a viable bye-week option against the Seahawks and Titans in the weeks ahead.
Don’t be fooled
Lynell Hamilton, RB, Saints. Welcome back, Pierre Thomas. Thanks for the memories, Lynell. Though the undrafted rookie got off to a nice start Sunday, a rejuvenated Thomas took over in the second half and reminded any who had forgotten that he is a game-changing play-maker when healthy. Barring another injury, Hamilton’s 15 minutes are up.
Vernon Davis, TE, 49ers. Go ahead and jump on Davis’ bandwagon after his 96-yard, two-touchdown outing if you like. I’m not buying it. Not only is his offense too inconsistent, but Davis is a perennial underachiever who has never finished a season among the top 12 tight ends. Yesterday’s pair of TDs matched his scoring production for all of 2008.
Daniel Fells, TE, Rams. You can’t be serious. You wouldn’t really buy into the Kyle Boller-to-Daniel Fells combo, would you?