Week 3, through the looking glass

Every season, the NFL serves up a weekend that reminds us how little we really know.

It all started fittingly on Thursday night, when a combined 80 points were racked up by the Rams and 49ers. You know, those two high-octane offenses led by gunslingers Jared Goff and Brian Hoyer.

I’m willing to accept that Todd Gurley has exorcised the demons of his sophomore slump, but you really don’t expect me to believe that Goff leads the highest-scoring offense in the NFL, do you?

Just a couple days ago, weren’t we all certain that the Giants’ offense was as stale as Eli Manning’s demeanor?

Everyone knows that inexperienced backup quarterbacks like Jacoby Brissett and Case Keenum are kryptonite to elite wide receivers. So how exactly were T.Y. Hilton and Stefon Diggs making it rain fantasy points all afternoon?

Meanwhile, Amari Cooper and Michael Crabtree combined for 13 receiving yards from Derek Carr on Sunday night.

Hello? Who’s in charge, here?

If Brandin Cooks couldn’t get on track against the sorry Saints secondary in Week 2, how does he torch the Texans for 131 yards and 2 TDs?

Speaking of the Saints, weren’t they supposed to be the tonic for all that ails opposing quarterbacks? So given his three-interception implosion on Sunday, does Cam Newton even belong on a fantasy roster any more? Or, in keeping with the whims of the fantasy gods, is he a lock to post career highs next Sunday at New England?

Drew Brees is awful on the road. Especially outdoors. Against one of the stingiest pass defenses in the league. Right?

Didn’t Jordan Howard and DeMarco Murray abdicate their starting gigs?

And didn’t Marcedes Lewis retire a couple years ago?

Admittedly, I wasn’t out on an especially long limb in predicting a subpar outing for Joe Flacco in London, but I honestly didn’t think you would’ve been better off starting me instead.

I told you Jay Cutler and DeVante Parker would torch the Jets defense. Oh, did I forget to mention it wouldn’t happen until the very last play of the game, and it would save the Dolphins from getting shut out?

Am I the only one who didn’t know Aaron Rodgers had never won an overtime game?

I’m asking all these questions because I’ve clearly run out of answers.

WAIVER WIRE PICKS AND PANS

To win a fantasy championship, it’s best to start with a great draft. But filling gaps in your roster with the occasional waiver-wire acquisition can also pay big dividends. Here's a look at players worth considering, and others who would look better in someone else's lineup.

Catch ‘em while you can

Wendell Smallwood, RB, Eagles. Consider this a tepid recommendation at best. With Darren Sproles lost for the season with a broken arm and torn ACL (ouch!), Smallwood will do his best to fill the all-purpose role in the Eagles’ offense. Meanwhile, those who dropped LeGarrette Blount in disgust last week may want to retrieve him now.

Branden Oliver, RB, Chargers. Melvin Gordon entered Sunday’s contest after nursing a tender knee during the week, then tweaked it late in Tennessee. Oliver is his handcuff, and Gordon’s owners would be wise to add him as insurance.

D’Onta Foreman, RB, Texans. Barring an injury to Lamar Miller, Foreman won’t ascend to the starting lineup overnight. But he’s absolutely worth stashing on your bench for the inevitable changing of the guard. It’s going to happen before year’s end, one way or the other.

Don’t be fooled

Blake Bortles, QB, Jaguars. Could Bortles have revived his career with a command performance in London? Don’t count on it. Remember that he’s missing his most talented receiver in Allen Robinson, and his offense’s best weapon is Leonard Fournette. He is still just one or two poor outings away from losing his job to Chad Henne.

Alvin Kamara, RB, Saints. There’s nothing not to like about this rookie, except that he’s buried beneath Mark Ingram and Adrian Peterson in the backfield pecking order. Kamara flashed his talent with a 25-yard TD run to ice the game Sunday, so he should earn some more touches. Just not enough to make him a viable fantasy contributor.

Marcedes Lewis, TE, Jaguars. Go ahead. Make someone else’s day.