In a perfect fantasy world, my starting lineup this season
would feature Aaron Rodgers, David Johnson, Todd Gurley, Odell Beckham, Jr., Antonio
Brown and Rob Gronkowski. That would be the same perfect world in which my
kids’ colleges pay me to send them there, Kate Hudson won’t stop throwing
herself at me and Abraham Lincoln is running for President.
Alas, since our fellow owners are unlikely to cede the
entire first round to us, we’ll simply have to work smarter to assemble the
most dominant team in our league. Our challenge, therefore, is to secure the
best value in each round, methodically building a roster that will soar from
Week 1, withstand an injury to one or two key players and peak during the
fantasy postseason.
With that lofty goal in mind, I’ve analyzed the average
draft position (ADP) of each player from multiple fantasy sites to determine
the best pick in each round – resulting in my oft-imitated, always-controversial,
yet magically delicious Perfect Draft.
As always, we start with a few key assumptions. First, we’re
in a 10-team non-keeper league using a standard scoring system that starts one quarterback,
two running backs, two wide receivers, and one tight end, flex, kicker and team
defense. Second, we are drafting from the middle (fifth) position in a snake format,
meaning we won’t have a shot at Brown or Beckham. Third, since all drafts play
out differently, we’ll need a little luck along the way. And finally, our goal
is nothing short of total domination and the abject humiliation of our
opponents.
Now, with the fifth pick of the 2016 Perfect Draft, we
select…
Round 1. David Johnson, RB, Cardinals. The top-rated player on my board, his ADP is currently No.
5. But he’s often going higher, which means we may have to “settle” for Gurley,
Adrian Peterson or an elite receiver. Johnson is primed to excel in Arizona’s
high-octane offense, as both a dynamic runner and receiver.
Round 2. Brandon Marshall, WR, Jets. If we go RB in Round 1, we must nab the best available
receiver here. If Gronk slides, nab him. Same for Allen Robinson. Otherwise,
Marshall is your man.
Round 3. Doug Martin,
RB, Buccaneers. It’s shocking to see last year’s No. 3 fantasy RB is
dropping to the third round, but with some luck, we can snare him. If not, both
Amari Cooper and Alshon Jeffery would be more than welcome on our team.
Round 4. Jarvis Landry, WR, Dolphins. With our RB stable in fine shape, we turn to a
young receiver coming off a breakout season who still has room to grow.
Round 5. Greg Olsen, TE,
Panthers. There are three sure-fire elite TEs – Gronk, Jordan Reed and Olsen.
The latter is available here, and gives us the most prolific receiving weapon
in Carolina. Plus, we won’t have to sweat out Reed’s injury history.
Round 6. Doug Baldwin, WR, Seahawks. No receiver was hotter in the second half of 2016 than
Baldwin. Allen Hurns and Michael Floyd offer plenty of value here, too.
Gamblers will have to strike now to secure Josh Gordon, who is soaring up draft
boards after his dazzling performance over the weekend.
Round 7. Carson
Palmer, QB, Cardinals. We’ve kept our QB
powder dry and it pays off now. A healthy Palmer is the only sure bet in
Arizona’s prolific passing attack on a week-to-week basis, since his cast of
outstanding receivers often takes turns coming up big. Prefer to grab and stash
Tom Brady until Week 5? I get that.
Round 8. Blake
Bortles, QB, Jaguars. For the first time I can recall in more than a decade
of fantasy columns, I am writing this sentence: You’ll regret it if you don’t
have a stake in the Jaguars’ passing attack. Wow. That was weird, but so true.
Round 9. Justin Forsett, RB, Ravens. The easiest call of the entire draft, the Ravens’ lead
back is ridiculously undervalued after returning from a season-ending forearm
injury, which is a far cry from knee or ankle surgery. Only rookie Kenneth
Dixon presents a meaningful challenge to Forsett, but he just sprained his
knee.
Round 10. Julius Thomas, TE, Jaguars. He’s been elite in the past, and there’s no reason he can’t
return to that status now that he’s healthy and paired with a prolific young
QB. I like Michael Crabtree and Kevin White here, too.
Round 11. Cardinals defense/special
teams. With a roster like this, we can afford to grab my top-rated defensive
unit.
Round 12. James White,
RB, Patriots. I like White’s potential to play a big role in the Patriots’
receiving game while Dion Lewis recovers from knee surgery. If you still need a
backup QB, Kirk Cousins and Jameis Winston are starting-caliber QB2s.
Round 13. Vincent
Jackson, WR, Buccaneers. I understand the reasons, but I still think it’s
crazy that V-Jax is falling this far.
Round 14. Theo
Riddick, RB, Lions. Ameer Abdullah’s hold on the starting RB position in
Detroit is as tenuous as my application to the Navy SEALS. Riddick isn’t a
threat to run much, but he’s an integral part of the Lions’ pass-first
philosophy. PPR leaguers will love him. Handcuffing our first-rounder with
Chris Johnson isn’t a bad idea either.
Round 15. Kenny
Stills, WR, Dolphins. If preseason is any indication – and it often isn’t –
Stills has supplanted DeVante Parker as Miami’s No. 2 WR. That makes him
flier-worthy.
Round 16. Chris Hogan,
WR, Patriots. I can think of much riskier bets in the penultimate round than a solid
receiver who may have sealed his role as the Patriots’ No. 2 wideout during the
offseason.
Round 17. Mason
Crosby, K, Packers. I chose Crosby over Chandler Catanzaro for bye-week
purposes, and because I wanted a piece of the Green Bay offense.
There you have it: A team with firepower at every position, bench
depth with substantial upside and no bye-week dilemmas.
Now, go forth and make your draft perfect.
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