Greetings, Fools! Long time no talk to.
And yet, just as baseball and college hoops fans are about to get all riled up, the NFL is back at the top of the news with another wild and wonderful free agency season.
As always, we're going to keep track of all the offseason trades, retirements, releases and free agent signings affecting offensive playmakers of note here. Because if I don't keep a running tally, it makes my job in July really hard when I write my first real column of the season: Old faces in new places.
As of June 18, here are the moves that matter…
Mike Vick, Jets -- They say he won't start over Geno, but we'll see how many INTs it takes to shake that commitment.
Josh McCown, Bucs -- Will compete for starting job in Tampa Bay after stellar showing in Chicago last season.
Matt Schaub, Raiders -- Traded by the Texans for a 6th rounder. Will he get his mojo back in Oakland?
Blaine Gabbert, 49ers -- The #10 overall pick in 2011 was acquired from the Jags for a late-round draft pick.
Mark Sanchez, Eagles -- Essentially swaps roles with Vick.
Jason Campbell, Bengals -- Will back up Dalton in Cincinnati.
Brandon Weeden, Cowboys -- Cut loose by the Browns. Picked up as insurance by Dallas.
Ryan Fitzpatrick, Texans -- Set free by the Titans, will try to get a start or two in Houston before some rookie takes over.
Shaun Hill, Rams -- Underrated reliever exits Detroit.
Josh Freeman, Giants -- Eli's new clip-holder.
Terrelle Pryor, Seahawks -- Last year's "hope for the future" traded by Raiders to Super Bowl champs for a 7th rounder.
Darren Sproles, Eagles -- Multi-purpose back traded by the Saints to free up cap space. Shady's value just got clipped.
Chris Johnson, Jets -- CJ1K set free from the Titans to look for a hefty payday from another suitor. Found it in NYC.
Knowshon Moreno, Dolphins -- Former Bronco gives Miami the versatile back they've been missing for years.
Maurice Jones-Drew, Raiders -- Will fight for playing time with Run DMC after leaving Jacksonville.
Rashad Jennings, Giants -- Former Raider moves to the Big Apple.
Ben Tate, Browns -- Arian's backup found a new home. Interesting…
Andre Brown, Texans -- Houston found a new handcuff for Arian with the former Giant.
LeGarrette Blount, Steelers -- Ex-Patriot will compete for carries with Le'Veon Bell.
Rashard Mendenhall -- Retired after two consecutive injury-plagued seasons.
Dexter McCluster, Titans -- Left the Chiefs for a big-money offer from Tennessee.
Donald Brown, Chargers -- I guess this means the Colts are comfortable leaving their backfield in Trent Richardson's hands, although they also re-signed Ahmad Bradshaw.
Toby Gerhart, Jags -- AP's "handcuff" moves south, and could have a shot at a starting job.
Michael Bush -- Forte's backup released by the Bears.
Ryan Williams, Cowboys -- Arizona's RB of the future is now only in its past. Latched on quickly in Dallas.
Jonathan Dwyer, Cardinals -- Underachieving former Steeler follows Mendenhall's footsteps to Arizona. Hopes for better results.
Daryl Richardson, Jets -- Claimed off the Rams' waiver wire.
Justin Forsett, Ravens -- Zzzzzzz….
Eric Decker, Jets -- Leaves Denver for 5-year deal in New York. And POOF goes his fantasy value.
DeSean Jackson, Redskins -- Scooped up on April Fool's Day by Dan Snyder after the Eagles cut ties.
Stevie Johnson, 49ers -- Following their acquisition of Sammy Watkins with the 4th overall pick, the Bills dealt Stevie to San Fran.
Steve Smith, Ravens -- Aging playmaker picked up by Baltimore after being released by Panthers.
Hakeem Nicks, Colts -- Former Giant gives Andrew Luck a reliable weapon.
James Jones, Raiders -- Leaves A-Rod for, um…, T-Pry? It was good knowing you, JJ.
Golden Tate, Lions -- Former Seahawk signed to five-year deal in Detroit.
Miles Austin, Browns -- Former Cowboy will try to plug the holes in Cleveland's WR corps, with or without two hamstrings.
Greg Little, Raiders -- In something of a surprise given their WR situation, the Browns set free the drop-plagued wideout. Quickly scooped up in Oakland.
Emmanuel Sanders, Broncos -- Ex-Steeler will try to fill Eric Decker's shoes.
Andre Roberts, Redskins -- Will have a chance to start in Washington after being mostly a third wheel in Arizona.
Lance Moore, Steelers -- Set free by the Saints. Picked up by Pittsburgh.
Andrew Hawkins, Browns -- Former Bengal should line up opposite Josh Gordon.
Brandon LaFell, Patriots -- Ex-Panther trades in Cam for Brady. Will he emerge as anything better than an occasional bye-week filler now?
Jerricho Cotchery, Panthers -- Former Jet and Steeler ain't no star, but he's about all they've got in Carolina.
Tiquan Underwood, Panthers -- Well, Carolina has the former Buc now. Does that make you feel better, Panthers fans?
Jason Avant, Panthers -- Former Eagle appears to complete a mediocre Carolina receiving corps.
Mike Williams, Bills -- Traded from Tampa Bay to Buffalo. Brrrrrrrr!
Sidney Rice -- Cut by the Super Bowl champs. Retired in late July.
Santonio Holmes -- Released by the Jets thanks to a bloated salary.
Kenny Britt, Rams -- Underachieving Titan gets his chance to flame out in St. Louis.
Domenik Hixon, Bears -- Moves to Chicago. Yawn.
Mario Manningham, Giants -- Returns to the team where he made his name.
Earl Bennett -- Released by the Bears, then signed by Cleveland after Josh Gordon got himself in deep doodoo. Then released again.
Devin Hester, Falcons -- Long-time Bear returner/WR moves south.
Darrius Heyward-Bey, Steelers -- Will now underwhelm in Pittsburgh.
Jacoby Ford, Jets -- Ex-Raider swaps coasts but fails to upgrade fantasy stock.
Ted Ginn, Cardinals -- Former first-round pick will return kicks and catch 15-20 passes in Arizona now.
Brandon Lloyd, 49ers -- Remember back in 2011, when you would've cared?
Nate Burleson, Browns -- Will now toil in Josh Gordon's shadow.
Lavelle Hawkins, Bucs -- Former Charger and Titan will soon be a former Buc.
Josh Morgan, Bears -- Former 49er and Redskin should probably rent a place in Chicago.
Brandon Myers, Bucs -- Former Giant signs two-year deal; should start in Tampa Bay.
Owen Daniels, Ravens -- Salary-cap casualty in Houston moves to Baltimore.
Kellen Davis, Giants -- Move along. Nothing to see here.
Ed Dickson, Panthers -- Former Raven will backup Greg Olsen.
Rob Bironas -- Long-time, reliable boot cut by the Titans.
Please let me know if I missed anyone important.