Monday, November 28, 2011

Wake me up when November ends

It may have been the lingering effects of my tryptophan overdose, but I had some strange visions over the weekend.

I could have sworn I saw Jason Witten go out of his way to tackle a cheerleader on Thanksgiving.

Someone told me Percy Harvin returned a kickoff 104 yards, but they must have been yanking my chain since it didn’t register any fantasy points for the Vikings special teams or Harvin.

Is it true that Texans fans are actually disappointed that Matt Leinart is no longer leading their team?

Isn’t Kiln, Mississippi, a short drive from Houston?

I thought I saw a boneheaded receiver shoot himself in the foot while pretending to shoot himself in the thigh. Maybe Stevie Johnson should concentrate on catching more touchdown passes so he doesn’t need to double- and triple-up on the celebrations.

I heard Terrell Owens’ agent say one team was “very interested” in his client’s services. And I thought I was the one hallucinating…

I watched Pitbull perform last Thursday in Dallas. But I thought the Eagles had a home game.

Shouldn’t Tim Tebow’s rushing stats count double since he’s actually running on water?

The economy must have recovered when I wasn’t paying attention. How else can you explain that Tyler Palko, Curtis Painter, Blaine Gabbert and John Skelton all have high-paying jobs?

“Orakpo” really isn’t another word for “sack.” I looked it up.

The 49ers are 9-2 and Alex Smith is still the quarterback. Am I being punked?

And I suppose you expect me to believe that Mark Sanchez really threw four touchdown passes Sunday.

Wasn’t Andre Johnson due back this week?

I just noticed the Patriots have another bye next weekend. That’s not fair.

How could Troy Polamalu suffer a concussion with all that extra padding?

Was that Beanie Wells I saw running under the Gateway Arch? Someone needs to tell him the game is over now.

I don’t wanna be anywhere nearby when the next Suh falls.

I could have sworn I saw DeAngelo Williams celebrating in the end zone – twice! As if…

Was that “Little Nick” Novak I saw warming up on the sideline?

How is it that Laurent Robinson was expendable in San Diego, St. Louis and Atlanta, but indispensable in Dallas?

I saw the Chiefs score a touchdown. Okay, now you know I’m joking.


FREE AGENT PICKS AND PANS

To win a fantasy championship, it helps to start with a great draft. But filling in your roster throughout the season with the right free agents is also important. Here's a look at players worth considering, and others who would look better in someone else's lineup.

Catch ‘em while you can

Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB, Bills. Maybe we gave up on him too early. After his 264-yard, three-touchdown outing against the Jets – which should have included a fourth scoring strike – Fitzpatrick finally returned to the form that made him a fantasy star at the season’s onset. With a favorable schedule ahead, and passers dropping like flies across the league, he’s worth adding if he’s available.

Shane Vereen, RB, Patriots. Looking for a tailback to stash away on your bench for your postseason run? Consider Vereen, who is slowly working his way into New England’s backfield rotation. The rookie is arguably the most talented back on the team, and he could emerge from obscurity next weekend against the woeful Colts.

Johnny Knox, WR, Bears. If Earl Bennett is the loser in the Caleb Hanie-led air attack, Knox looks like the winner. The young speedster was targeted 10 times Sunday and finished with 145 yards and a score. Knox will have a chance to keep up the good work given Chicago’s soft schedule down the stretch.

Don’t be fooled

Jackie Battle, RB, Chiefs. It’s hard to release any starting running back; but when he posts three consecutive games with single-digit carries for a team that has scored one touchdown in its past four games, it’s time to say goodbye. Battle’s running mates don’t belong anywhere near your roster, either.

Jason Avant, WR, Eagles. If not for his three receptions for 24 yards and a touchdown on the final, garbage-time drive, Avant wouldn’t even have registered on your fantasy radar. The career backup benefited from DeSean Jackson’s benching, New England’s porous secondary and Vince Young’s career day – a perfect storm that is unlikely to strike again soon.

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