I had the craziest dream last night.
I dreamt that an Oakland running back who deemed himself “70 percent” healthy was the leading rusher in Week 7, with 196 combined yards and four touchdowns. That’s ridiculous, since Michael Bush was expected to remain the starter while Darren McFadden eased back into action slowly so as not to re-aggravate his troublesome hamstring.
And I suppose you expect me to believe the Raiders put up 59 points on the Broncos, too.
I could have sworn I saw a boneheaded receiver – who was benched at the beginning of the game for getting in an early-morning bar fight two days before – torching the Eagles for the best receiving performance in the NFL all season. Yeah, right. As if Kerry Collins could ever pass for 225 yards and three touchdowns in one game, much less all to Kenny Britt.
Surely I was hallucinating when I watched Drew Brees pass for 94 yards and two scoring strikes to David Bowens. That’s absurd, of course, because Bowens is a linebacker and he doesn’t even play for the Saints.
In the same game, the Browns punter was one yard shy of leading both teams in rushing. As if.
Somebody needs to pinch me, because Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick allegedly lit up the mighty Ravens defense for 374 yards and four TDs, three of which went to Lee Evans. And I didn’t even drink last night.
I thought I heard that Jay Cutler’s leading receiver on Sunday was DeAngelo Hall, who reeled in four passes for 92 yards and a touchdown. But isn’t Hall a Redskin?
Some guy named David Gettis caught eight passes for 125 yards and two touchdowns against the 49ers. Now that’s just silly.
The voices in my head told me Packers tight end Andrew Quarless was awarded a touchdown that wasn’t, and Vikings tight end Visanthe Shiancoe was robbed of a touchdown that was, both in the same Sunday night game. You can’t make this stuff up.
I even imagined that my beloved Dolphins got hosed by the officials after Ben Roethlisberger fumbled on his way into the end zone. Even though replays showed multiple Miami defenders covering the fumble and a Dolphin emerging from the scrum with the ball. Puh-leeze…
Okay, I’m awake now. Let me know when the real Week 7 games are going to be played.
FREE AGENT PICKS AND PANS
To win a fantasy championship, you need to start with a good draft. But filling in your roster throughout the season with the right free agents can also make a big difference. Here’s a look at a few players worth considering, and others who would look better in someone else’s line-up.
Catch ‘em while you can
Ryan Fitzpatrick, QB, Bills. Since being installed as Buffalo’s starter, Fitzpatrick has amassed 969 passing yards, 11 touchdowns and just four interceptions. And he’s not doing it against scrubs, either. With six teams on bye each of the next two weekends, Fitzpatrick and his top receivers (Lee Evans and Steve Johnson) are suddenly prime waiver-wire candidates.
Matt Stafford, QB, Lions. Before Shaun Hill went down with a broken forearm in Week 6, he was the sixth-best quarterback in Fantasyland. Now that Stafford is headed back from the shoulder injury he suffered in the opener, he’ll find himself at the controls of a surprisingly potent offense. He, too, offers a solution to your bye-week conundrums.
Kenny Britt, WR, Titans. When you post the best receiving game of the 2010 season against a solid Eagles secondary, you deserve some love. Britt should continue to benefit from the attention lavished on Chris Johnson by opposing defenses. Best of all, he’s available in more than a third of all fantasy leagues.
Owen Daniels, TE, Texans. Before he blew out his knee in Week 8 of the 2009 season, Daniels was the most prolific tight end in the business. Coming off the Texans’ bye, Daniels should again be at or near full-strength, and poised to dominate down the stretch. Overlooked or forgotten in half of all leagues, Daniels could be an invaluable acquisition for fantasy owners looking to shore up a position that has been decimated by injuries.
Don’t be fooled
LeGarrette Blount, RB, Buccaneers. One week removed from the game-day inactive list, the undrafted rookie was Tampa Bay’s leading rusher with 76 yards, 46 of which came on one play. In Week 5, Earnest Graham was the team’s top back, with 65 yards. Cadillac Williams led the way in Week 6 with a whopping 18 rushing yards. Get the picture? Even if you could predict who’ll get the most carries in any given week, this is not a backfield worth messing with.
Jordan Shipley, WR, Bengals. Carson Palmer has stepped up his game recently, but there still aren’t enough passes to go around in Cincinnati to warrant picking up Shipley. Chad Ochocinco and Terrell Owens aren’t known for sharing, and they certainly won’t cheerfully surrender targets to a rookie.
David Gettis, WR, Panthers. I’m not sure what was going on in Carolina Sunday, but I’m fairly certain it’s not going to happen again. There may not be a worse passing offense in the league, so expecting consistency from this rookie wideout is like asking Paris Hilton to skip a photo op. Let someone else waste a waiver claim on Gettis. Ditto Brandon LaFell.