Greetings, Fools. Hope you've been well. I've taken a couple of months off to lick my wounds (and launch an investigation) over my crushing loss in the Fantasy Writer of the Year Awards. Pretty sure Putin is involved, and maybe Roger Goodell, too. Jury's still out.
Meanwhile, we've already had plenty of offseason moves worth tracking, so that's what we'll do. What follows is an on-going list of offensive players of note who have swapped uniforms via free agency, trade, retirement or 3 a.m. arrest.
As of May 28, here they are:
Tony Romo -- Retires to the top CBS booth.
Jay Cutler -- Also retires for a TV gig, at FOX. But will he be Good or Bad Jay Broadcaster?
Mike Glennon, Bears -- Chicago really plans to start this former Buc?
Brian Hoyer, 49ers -- Ex-Bear gets another chance to start.
Josh McCown, Jets -- Will he start? Say it ain't so.
Jay Cutler -- Released by the Bears.
Brock Osweiler, Browns -- I'm sure everything will be great now that he's in Cleveland ...
Nick Foles, Eagles -- Unlikely to prosper in second stint in Philly.
Blaine Gabbert, Cardinals -- Will backup Palmer.
Adrian Peterson, Saints -- This move is Big, but will the transition be Easy? (See what I did there?)
Latavius Murray, Vikings -- Interested ...
Jamaal Charles, Broncos -- Signs one-year deal with divisional rivals, probably ruining his and CJ Anderson's fantasy value.
Eddie Lacy, Seahawks -- If he can keep his hands out of the cookie jar, could resuscitate his career in Seattle.
LeGarrette Blount, Eagles -- Leaves the champs for uncertain role in Philly.
Rex Burkhead, Patriots -- Bengal backup joins New England's crowded stable.
Tim Hightower, 49ers -- Former Saint will compete for touches in new home.
Danny Woodhead, Ravens -- Can he bounce back from season-ending injury?
Mike Gillislee, Patriots -- Bills also-ran now picks up some fantasy cred in New England.
C.J. Spiller, Chiefs -- How long has it been since his glory days in Buffalo?
Justin Forsett, N/A -- Hung up his cleats and called it a career.
Knile Davis, Steelers -- Will he be a handcuff or a wall flower?
Shaun Draughn, Giants -- Had a brief shining moment in San Fran. Now what?
Matt Asiata, Lions -- Leaves Minnesota for a very-crowded backfield at division rival.
Lance Dunbar, Rams -- Ex-Cowboy will fill a 3rd-down role in L.A.
Brandin Cooks, Patriots -- Finally, Tom Brady gets a weapon to help him escape mediocrity.
Alshon Jeffery, Eagles -- Waves goodbye to the Windy City.
Brandon Marshall, Giants -- Determined to make it in New York one way or the other.
DeSean Jackson, Bucs -- Will be #2 to Mike Evans' #1.
Pierre Garcon, 49ers -- Not sure he has much left.
Victor Cruz, Bears -- Limps away from the G-Men to try to fill Jeffery's cleats.
Markus Wheaton, Bears -- Doesn't Chicago know this guy's history?
Ted Ginn, Jr., Saints -- Joins a crowded WR corp in the Big Easy.
Terrelle Pryor, Redskins -- Can he build on his promising start as a Brown?
Kamar Aiken, Colts -- Left the Ravens to compete with other young wideouts.
Michael Floyd, Vikings -- Released by Pats, signs with hometown team.
Kenny Britt, Browns -- Welp, I guess that's the last we'll hear from this former Ram.
Brian Quick, Redskins -- The Rams sure cleaned house. But got what in return?
Marquise Goodwin, 49ers -- Yawn.
Robert Woods, Rams -- Double yawn.
Torrey Smith, Eagles -- Ex-49er will steal money from Philly now.
Andre Holmes, Bills -- Remember that week when we were excited about his potential in Oakland?
Martellus Bennett, Packers -- Well-traveled TE will try to give A-Rod an elite target.
Lance Kendricks, Packers -- Former Ram will likely eat into Bennett's upside.
Dwayne Allen, Patriots -- Traded by the Colts to take Marty B's spot.
Julius Thomas, Dolphins -- Heads down the interstate to help another struggling passing attack.
Jared Cook, Raiders -- Ex-Packer likely to continue a career of underachievement in Oakland.
Mychal Rivera, Jaguars -- Gets another chance in Jacksonville.
Gary Barnidge, F/A -- Released by the Browns.
Ladarius Green, F/A -- Released after 1 year by the Steelers. Never understood the hype on this one.
Steven Hauschka, Bills -- Once steady kicker loses his fantasy cred in Buffalo.
Chandler Catanzaro, Jets -- Former Card will try to make it in the Big Apple.
Phil Dawson, Cardinals -- Ex-49er may actually get a few opportunities to shine this season.
Nick Folk, Bucs -- Will compete for the job in Tampa Bay.
Robbie Gould, 49ers -- Nothing to see here.