Week 9 Heroes & Zeros

This was a great week to start…

QBs

Aaron Rodgers, Packers – Overcame a tough opponent to pass for 369 yards, 4 TDs and 1 INT, plus 22 rushing yards.

Cam Newton, Panthers – Passed for 297 yards, 3 TDs and 1 INT, and ran for 57 yards and a 4^th TD.

Drew Brees, Saints – Passed for 387 yards, 3 TDs and an INT, and snuck in for a 4^th TD on the ground.

Marcus Mariota, Titans – Took advantage of the soft Saints secondary for 371 yards and 4 TDs without a blemish.

Derek Carr, Raiders – Bombed the Steelers for 301 yards and 4 TDs, plus 1 INT.

RBs

DeAngelo Williams, Steelers – Stomped on Oakland’s second-best run defense with 170 yards and 2 TDs, plus 2 receptions for 55 more yards.

Lamar Miller, Dolphins – Rushed for 44 yards and 2 TDs, and caught 7 passes for 97 yards.

Karlos Williams, Bills – Raced for 110 yards and a pair of TDs.

James Starks, Packers – Ran for 39 yards and caught 6 passes for 83 yards and a TD.

DeMarco Murray, Eagles – Rushed for 83 yards and a TD and caught 6 passes for 78 yards.

Jeremy Langford, Bears - Ran for 72 yards and a TD, and caught 3 passes for 70 more.

Adrian Peterson, Vikings – Ran for 125 yards and a score, and took 2 passes 18 yards.

WRs

Antonio Brown, Steelers – Had a monster outing despite not scoring, with 17 catches for 284 yards, plus 2 carries for 22 rushing yards. We’ll forgive the fumble.

Michael Crabtree, Raiders – Continued his resurgence with 7 receptions for 108 yards and 2 TDs.

Cole Beasley, Cowboys – Scored twice on 9 passes for 112 yards.

Sammy Watkins, Bills – Returned with a vengeance, grabbing 8 balls for 168 yards and a TD.

Allen Hurns, Jaguars – Caught 5 passes for 122 yards and a TD.

Jordan Matthews, Eagles – Pulled down 9 passes for 133 yards and the winning TD.

Mike Evans, Buccaneers – Reeled in 8 passes for 152 yards, though he lost a fumble.

Alshon Jeffery, Bears -- Caught 10 passes for 151 yards.

TEs

Delanie Walker, Titans – Partnered with Mariota on 7 passes for 95 yards and 2 TDs.

Tyler Eifert, Bengals – Reeled in 5 passes for 53 yards and a TD trifecta.

Richard Rodgers, Packers – Caught 5 passes for 19 yards and 2 TDs.

This was a great week to play against…

QBs

Ryan Tannehill, Dolphins – Passed for 309 yards, but had no scores and a fumble.

                                                               

RBs

Eddie Lacy, Packers – Ran for 10 yards, lost a fumble, and tweaked his groin; then may have lost his starting gig to Starks.

Alfred Morris, Redskins – He, too, racked up 10 yards on the day.

Ronnie Hillman, Broncos – Ran for one stinking yard.

Doug Martin, Buccaneers – Ran for 31 yards and caught 2 passes for 12 yards, and lost a fumble.

C.J. Anderson, Broncos – Only 38 combined yards.

WRs

Andre Holmes, Raiders – Last week’s darling was blanked.

Andre Johnson, Colts – This Andre was, too.

Malcom Floyd, Chargers -- Fell and injured his shoulder before he could register a point.

DeSean Jackson, Redskins – Returned to catch 3 passes for 15 yards.

Roddy White, Falcons – Caught a 20-yarder.

Travis Benjamin, Browns – Just 22 yards on 3 balls.

Terrance Williams, Cowboys – Produced 27 yards on 3 receptions.

Donte Moncrief, Colts – Only 30 yards on 3 receptions.

Stefon Diggs, Vikings – Collected 42 yards on 3 passes.

TEs

Jordan Cameron, Dolphins – Continued the disappearing act with a 6-yard reception.

Charles Clay, Bills – Also settled for a 6-yarder.

Gary Barnidge, Browns – The shooting star had just 35 yards on 2 catches.

This space (not) sponsored by DraftKings

I’m starting to understand NFL fans who think that fantasy football has ruined the game they love. Because the daily fantasy sites are ruining fantasy football.

In case you’ve been living in the Amazon for the last several months, these sites – dominated by DraftKings and its evil cousin, FanDuel – are spending like a Bush/Clinton PAC to convince you that $5 and your encyclopedic fantasy knowledge can make you an instant millionaire.

After all, how hard can it be to pick the best player at each position in any given week, under a not-that-restrictive salary cap? It seems so easy, until you realize that you aren’t playing against the guy in the next cubicle.

In fact, you have about as much chance of winning a weekly DraftKings jackpot as you do of winning your state’s lottery, since the “game” is dominated by deep-pocketed “sharks” who enter hundreds, sometimes thousands, of lineups with a dizzying array of player combinations using statistical algorithms specifically built to tilt the odds in their favor.

Actually, you may be better served playing the Lotto because at least the people buying hundreds of tickets have no idea if 15, 23 and 36 are more likely to hit than 8, 32 and 41. This weekend, you probably thought you’d be in the money if you started Marcus Mariota, DeAngelo Williams and Antonio Brown. But the sharks not only had those three, they played a few dozen variations that enabled them to randomly hit on Lamar Miller, Sammy Watkins, Cole Beasley and Delanie Walker, too.

You lose.

I first tried FanDuel last year when a buddy challenged me to play him head-to-head one week. We each invested $5, and the winner (yes, me) walked away with $9. The house kept a buck.

Yawn.

It felt like going to Vegas and playing red or black on the Roulette wheel, though I had a better idea of which color would come up than the other guy. Not to mention FanDuel’s payoff is worse.

Where’s the fun in that?

Now, put $75,000, $250,000 or a mil on the line, and I’m interested. Just not interested enough to write a program that churns out all the possible combinations of winning lineups with Aaron Rodgers or Cam Newton or Mariota as my QB. That’s not skill. That’s math.

Call me old school, but I still look forward to draft nights prior to the regular season opener. I prefer competing against people I know – for money, yes, but more for the sheer entertainment value afforded by a 16-week-long test of wits. I enjoy the trash talk, the thrill of the trade, the starting lineup conundrums, the joy of preening atop the standings and the satisfaction of clawing my way up from the cellar.

I hate seeing superstars like Jamaal Charles and Le’Veon Bell go down, but I relish the challenge of tapping my bench depth and discovering a waiver-wire gem that leads me to the postseason. Jerry Jones can’t find a way to win without Tony Romo, but I sure can.

In short, I believe in a world in which people own and manage their imaginary players for an entire season, rather than renting them on a weekly basis. I believe you should suffer through Drew Brees’ early-season rut, so you can revel in his rebound. I believe it’s okay to do a discrete fist pump when your fantasy running back scores against your favorite NFL team, just as long as you tell yourself you’d give up those points if it meant your real team would win.

Stand up, America! Let’s take back the game we love and return to a more civil world in which game-day broadcasts are brought to us by beer, pizza and erectile dysfunction advertisers. The way our Founding Fathers intended. 

FREE AGENT PICKS AND PANS

To win a fantasy championship, it helps to start with a great draft. But filling in your roster throughout the season with the right free agents is also important. Here's a look at players worth considering, and others who would look better in someone else's lineup.

Catch ‘em while you can

Derek Carr, QB, Raiders. I rarely recommend the same guy more than once, but Carr is inexplicably available in roughly 40 percent of all fantasy leagues. Given all the byes and injured quarterbacks, how could a guy that embarrassed the Jets’ defense last week still be sitting on so many waiver wires? Perhaps after a three-game stretch in which he has amassed 923 passing yards, 11 TDs and one interception, Carr will get some respect.

Karlos Williams, RB, Bills. With Buffalo’s next game falling on Thursday night, Shady McCoy is a long shot to play with his injured shoulder. Williams showed what he can do when given the chance and can be a very handy short-term proxy.

Brandon Bolden, RB, Patriots. He’s the next man up if Dion Lewis (knee) is down for multiple weeks, as expected. LeGarrette Blount will likely see the majority of the carries, but Bolden should inherit Lewis’ change-of-pace role. Bolden won’t be starter-worthy most weeks, but he could be a decent bye-week or injury fill-in.

Don’t be fooled

Shaun Draughn, RB, 49ers. If this week was any indication, Draughn has earned the lead running back role until Carlos Hyde returns. But the 49ers are heading to their bye and Hyde is eyeing a Week 11 comeback. Draughn’s risk-return ratio is way out of kilter.

Cole Beasley, WR, Cowboys. On the heels of two consecutive goose eggs, Beasley suddenly became Matt Cassel’s best friend on Sunday night. But the No. 3 wideout in Dallas is barely roster-worthy when Romo is under center. Let someone else take the primetime bait.

Vernon Davis, TE, Broncos. Owen Daniels made a statement with Sunday’s 102-yard, one-TD performance: You’re going to have take this job from my cold, dead hands, Vernon. Davis didn’t make the box score in his first game as a Bronco, and the chances of him contributing meaningfully any time soon are slim.

Sunday morning updates -- Week 9

Good morning, Fools. We're officially in the second half of the fantasy season, and that makes me kinda sad. It goes by so fast, and the offseason is so friggin' long.

Oh well, let's enjoy it -- and kick some butt -- while we can. Here's what we need to know as we set our starting lineups for a dominating Week 9:

The following have already been declared out for this weekend: Matt Forte, Vincent Jackson, Eddie Royal, DeVante Parker and Kendall Wright. Le'Veon Bell, Keenan Allen and Percy Harvin have been placed on IR.

Tyrod Taylor will be back under center for the Bills, which is great news for Buffalo fans. Sammy Watkins isn't 100%, but he is expected to play on his balky ankle. But will he much more than a decoy? Charles Clay has flown mostly under the fantasy radar in recent weeks, but his arrow is pointing up again with Taylor at the helm.

There's a lot of consternation about the Packers' passing game facing its second tough test in a row, on the road in Carolina. Given how poorly Aaron Rodgers & Co. played against the Broncos, it's understandable. Personally, I couldn't sit Rodgers for anyone other than another top-notch QB (Rivers, Brees, Brady, Ryan, Big Ben, Cam, Eli), but I am sitting Davante Adams and James Jones on the teams in which I own them. And if I had Randall Cobb, I'd sit him, too.

There's not a single Colt I would start today against Denver. Not a one. (Unless your league starts punters.) And just in case you're considering it, T. Y. Hilton is a game-time call.

Does anybody know who'll run the ball in San Francisco today? Does anybody really care? Well, here's the thing. One of those RBs could -- not will, could -- emerge as the pick of the litter and be a prime waiver-wire pickup this week. So those hurting at RB can spin the wheel early on Kendall Gaskins, Pierre Thomas and Shaun Draughn. Thomas is the only one with a decent NFL pedigree, so if I had to take one (thankfully, I don't), he'd be my choice.

Besides, the 49ers are starting Blaine Gabbert at QB, and Anquan Boldin is not expected to suit up. The Falcons defense has never been so tantalizing.

Ronnie Hillman (thigh) is expected to suit up today, but I like C.J. Anderson better in this one. Given Hillman's situation, it wouldn't be surprising to see Denver give the resurgent Anderson the bulk of the carries against Indy. As long as C.J. plays well, they can rest Hillman. If he fares poorly, or gets nicked up, they'll have a fall-back plan. For that reason, I would be very wary of starting Hillman today.

Everyone in the Jets' surprisingly effective passing attack is nicked up, from Ryan Fitzpatrick (thumb) to Brandon Marshall (ankle, toe) to Eric Decker (knee). But they're all expected to play in a good matchup with the Jags.

DeSean Jackson will get back on the field today, finally. I've been keeping him on my bench all this time, but I'm not starting him just yet. Want to see him test that bum hammy at game speed first.

Ladarius Green is doubtful, so Antonio Gates could have a monster outing. I like Malcom Floyd better than Stevie Johnson too, by the way.

Austin Seferian-Jenkins is not expected to play. Should be a big day for Mike Evans, though we thought that last week as well.

Vernon Davis will make his debut in a Broncos uniform this afternoon. This should be interesting. I could see him revitalize his career in Denver, or flame out as he has done so often when expectations were raised. If you have an extra spot on your bench to invest just in case he comes through, Davis certainly has a high ceiling.

We may get our first look at Dolphins rookie RB Jay Ajayi today. He's not someone worthy of a roster spot yet, but if Lamar Miller goes down, that will change.

Keenan Allen is still rostered in more than 40% of ESPN leagues. Why? Very few of those are keeper leagues. Drop him now, folks, and grab someone who just might emerge this week before you have to fight your competitors for him. Maybe someone on a bye now, like Kamar Aiken or Michael Floyd (available in 40% of leagues), or even Vernon Davis.

Weather report: It's fairly quiet in NFL cities around the country today. Light rain is expected in Tampa Bay (Giants, Buc) and Santa Clara (Falcons, 49ers), but it's not windy there. No reason to downgrade anyone in those games that you would otherwise start.

That's it for now. I'll be tweeting the inactives and other late-breaking news in a bit. Good luck today, Fools!

Week 9 Starters & Benchwarmers

Wondering whether or not to start Todd Gurley and Julio Jones, or to bench Blaine Gabbert and Nelson Agholor? The network bozos specialize in that kind of advice. If you’re looking for help with your real starting lineup conundrums, read on.

Here are my picks to roll, and get rolled, in Week 9 of the 2015 season.

Watch ‘em roll

Ben Roethlisberger, QB, Steelers vs. Raiders. Big Ben was a little rusty last week, but he catches a break on Sunday when the Raiders’ sieve-like secondary comes to town. Oakland’s run defense is stout, so the Steelers will have little choice but to air it out. Roethlisberger and his wideouts will be up to the task.

Jonathan Stewart, RB, Panthers vs. Packers. He’s riding a nice three-game stretch into this game, where he’ll face a Green Bay defense that just made the Broncos running backs relevant again. J-Stew should have a field day.

Jeremy Langford, RB, Bears at Chargers. Those who scooped up the rookie after Matt Forte sprained his knee can feel confident inserting him in their starting lineup. Not only does he have a tasty matchup in San Diego, but he is expected to mimic Forte’s workhorse workload.

Brandon LaFell, WR, Patriots vs. Redskins. LaFell had the dropsies in his first action of the season in Week 7, but he fared much better last week. More important, he was targeted six more times than Danny Amendola. Against Washington’s generous secondary, look for LaFell to have his first breakout game of 2015.

Rishard Matthews, WR, Dolphins at Bills. Ryan Tannehill needs to bounce back from his worst game of the season, and Buffalo’s soft secondary should be very accommodating. Matthews continues to prosper in Jarvis Landry’s shadow, seeing a dozen targets last week alone. 

More thumbs up (excluding the no-brainers): QBs Peyton Manning, Matt Ryan, Eli Manning, Ryan Tannehill, Philip Rivers, Cam Newton; RBs Dion Lewis, Mark Ingram, LeSean McCoy, Darren McFadden, Danny Woodhead, DeMarco Murray, Doug Martin, Chris Ivory; WRs Emmanuel Sanders, Julian Edelman, Sammy Watkins, Alshon Jeffery, Martavis Bryant, Brandon Marshall, Malcom Floyd, Tavon Austin, Willie Snead, Allen Robinson, Amari Cooper, Mike Evans, Allen Hurns.

Roll ‘em back

Andrew Luck, QB, Colts vs. Broncos. You saw what Denver’s stifling defense did to Aaron Rodgers last Sunday night, right? And you’ve seen how Luck has looked most of the season, right? Though he salvaged some respectable stats at the end of the Panthers game, don’t count on the Broncos softening up late this week. Luck’s bum ankle is just icing on the (rancid) cake.

DeAngelo Williams, RB, Steelers vs. Raiders. Congratulations if you won the waiver-wire sweepstakes for Williams, but think twice before plugging him into your lineup. Oakland sports the NFL’s second-best run defense, most recently shutting down the Jets and Chargers.

T.J. Yeldon, RB, Jaguars at Jets. The rookie has had a week to rest up and prepare for this contest, but New York will not be a hospitable host. The Jets have only surrendered two TDs on the ground all season, and they are eager to erase the memory of last week’s poor showing. Yeldon will be the fall guy.

Stefon Diggs, WR, Vikings vs. Rams. The rookie has amassed 419 receiving yards and two TDs in his first four NFL outings, making him an instant fantasy darling. But he’s dealing with a tender hamstring and heading into a rough matchup with the stingy St. Louis defense. Teddy Bridgewater will have Rams in his face all day, giving the inconsistent passer little breathing room to find his new playmaker.

Dez Bryant, WR, Cowboys vs. Eagles. Normally we’d feel better about starting a previously injured receiver in his second game back. But Bryant can’t throw himself the ball, and we’re not convinced Matt Cassel can get it to him, either. Philly’s secondary is nothing special, but they’re good enough to keep this listless passing game in check. Especially with Bryant’s foot relegating him to little more than a decoy.

More thumbs down: QBs Sam Bradford, Kirk Cousins, Blake Bortles, Nick Foles, Teddy Bridgewater; RBs Frank Gore, Antonio Andrews, Alfred Morris, Matt Jones, Rashad Jennings, Darren Sproles, Pierre Thomas; WRs T.Y. Hilton, Danny Amendola, Eric Decker, Torrey Smith, Mike Wallace, Donte Moncrief, Andre Johnson, DeSean Jackson, Davante Adams, James Jones, Terrance Williams, Andre Holmes, Ted Ginn, Justin Hunter, Marques Colston.

TAKING A FLIER

C.J. Anderson, RB, Broncos at Colts. It’s hard to trust Anderson again after his horrific start, even after he rushed for 101 yards and a TD against the Packers. He’ll still be splitting carries with Ronnie Hillman, but they will both be facing Indy’s pathetic run defense. If you’re hurting at the position (and who isn’t?), he could surprise you.

DON’T BE THE BONEHEAD WHO…fails to check the weather forecasts for potential problem games. As we saw Monday night, wet and windy conditions can lead to poor passes, dropped balls and fumbles. And though the Colts’ and Panthers’ veteran kickers fared well, many struggle with their footing in rain and snow. Winter is coming, and factoring in the elements is often a good way to choose between two otherwise-equal options.

Week 8 Heroes & Zeros

This was a great week to start…

QBs

Drew Brees, Saints – Had a record-setting day with 511 yards and a ridiculous 7 TDs. We’ll forgive the INT.

Eli Manning, Giants – Took a back seat to Brees despite passing for 350 yards and 6 – yes, 6 – TDs, without a turnover.

Tom Brady, Patriots – Torched the Dolphins with 356 yards and 4 TDs, without a turnover.

Carson Palmer, Cardinals – Passed for 374 yards and 4 TDs, with 1 INT.

Derek Carr, Raiders – Handled the vaunted Jets defense easily, passing for 333 yards and 4 TDs, without a turnover.

Philip Rivers, Chargers – Tossed 3 TDs without a turnover, plus 301 yards.

Alex Smith, Chiefs – Passed for only 145 yards, but ran for 78 yards and had 3 total TDs.

RBs

Todd Gurley, Rams – Raced for 133 yards and a TD, and caught 3 passes for 13 yards.

Charcandrick West, Chiefs – Ran for 97 yards and a TD, and added 4 receptions for 25 yards overseas.

WRs

Odell Beckham, Jr, Giants – Caught 8 passes for 130 yards and a TD hat trick.

Julio Jones, Falcons – Pulled down a dozen passes for 162 yards and a TD, though he lost a fumble.

Malcom Floyd, Chargers – Generated 92 yards and 2 TDs on 4 receptions.

A.J. Green, Bengals – Caught 11 receptions for 118 yards and the winning TD.

Julian Edelman, Patriots – Hauled in 7 passes for 81 yards and 2 TDs.

Brandin Cooks, Saints – Scored twice on 6 receptions for 88 yards.

Willie Snead, Saints – Kept pace with Cooks with 7 catches for 76 yards and 2 TDs, though he lost a fumble.

Tavon Austin, Rams – Caught 4 passes for 98 yards and a TD, and ran for 21 yards and a second TD.

Alshon Jeffery, Bears – Caught 10 passes for 116 yards and a TD.

Demaryius Thomas, Broncos – Took 8 receptions 168 yards on Sunday night.

TEs

Rob Gronkowski, Patriots – Dominated with 6 receptions for 113 yards and a TD.

Ben Watson, Saints – Reeled in 9 passes for 147 yards and a TD.

Jacob Tamme, Falcons – Played a big role for a change, with 10 receptions for 103 yards and a score.

  

Ks

Justin Tucker, Ravens – Nailed 5 FGs (of 29, 39, 45, 48 and 48 yards) and 2 XPs.

This was a great week to play against…

QBs

Aaron Rodgers, Packers – Stifled by the Broncos for just 77 passing yards and no TDs, plus 31 rushing yards.

Ryan Fitzpatrick, Jets – Passed for 46 yards and ran for 12 before leaving with a hand injury.

Ryan Tannehill, Dolphins – Looked awful in passing for 300 yards, no TDs and 2 INTs.

Peyton Manning, Broncos – Passed for a very respectable 340 yards, but had no TDs and an INT.

Colin Kaepernick, 49ers – Passed for just 162 yards and ran for 28 more without a score. Then lost his job.

                                                               

RBs

Reggie Bush, 49ers – Wiped out on the concrete before he had a chance to contribute.

Andre Ellington, Cardinals – This is what more action looks like? Carried the ball three times for a big fat goose egg.

Ameer Abdullah, Lions – Ran for just 3 yards in London.

Isaiah Crowell, Browns – Ran for 14 and caught a 12-yarder.

Chris Polk, Texans – Just 18 rushing and 4 receiving yards.

Giovani Bernard, Bengals – Only 12 rushing and 22 receiving yards.

Chris Ivory, Jets – Ran for 17 yards and caught 3 passes for 24 yards.

Danny Woodhead, Chargers – Held in check with just 45 combined yards.

Le’Veon Bell, Steelers – Ran for 45 yards and caught 2 passes for 13 yards before being lost for the season with a knee injury.

Justin Forsett, Ravens – Rushed for 69 yards and caught a 5-yarder.

WRs

Mike Wallace, Vikings – Blanked by the Bears.

John Brown, Cardinals – He was active but not 100% and never saw the field.

James Jones, Packers – Caught a 2-yarder. Yep. A 2-yarder.

Davante Adams, Packers – Returned from several weeks on the bench to catch an 8-yard pass.

Marvin Jones, Bengals – Took some big hits and finished with 2 catches for 12 yards.

Dez Bryant, Cowboys – Returned with a thud, catching just 2 passes for 12 yards.

T.Y. Hilton, Colts – Marginalized on MNF, catching a 15-yarder.

Donte Moncrief, Colts – Not much better than his counterpart, finishing with 18 yards on 2 catches.

Kendall Wright, Titans – Just 17 yards on 2 receptions before getting hurt.

Torrey Smith, 49ers – Held to 19 yards on 2 catches.

Terrance Williams, Cowboys – Just 20 yards on 2 balls.

Emmanuel Sanders, Broncos – Only 2 receptions for 22 yards.

Randall Cobb, Packers – Caught 6 passes, but only for 27 yards, plus 10 rushing yards.

Roddy White, Falcons – Failed to take advantage of his opportunity, finishing with 24 yards on 2 catches.

Travis Benjamin, Browns – Limited to 26 yards on 3 balls.

Stevie Johnson, Chargers – Only 28 yards on 2 balls.

Mike Evans, Buccaneers – Surprisingly, limited to 48 yards on 3 catches.

TEs

Dwayne Allen, Colts – With a 4-yard catch, he was lost in the shadow of Coby Fleener.

Ladarius Green, Chargers – Caught a 10-yarder with Antonio Gates back on the field.

Larry Donnell, Giants – His team had 6 passing TDs, but he settled for a 22-yard catch.

Eric Ebron, Lions – Had 24 yards on 3 receptions in London.
Jordan Cameron, Dolphins – Still not getting it done, with just 2 catches for 34 yards.

Martellus Bennett, Bears – Only 32 yards on 3 catches.

Tyler Eifert, Bengals – Caught 4 passes for 39 yards.

The Perfect Draft 2.0

When it comes to fantasy drafting, we all have regrets, right?

Seriously, who thought Devonta Freeman would be a rushing beast? Didn’t we all know that Larry Fitzgerald’s best days were far behind him? Surely all those offseason distractions would cast a pall over Tom Brady’s season…

Yeah, not so much.

That’s right, friends. It’s time for our semi-annual exercise in self-flagellation, when we reflect back two short months on what could have been had we made all the right moves during our preseason draft.  Step right up for The Perfect Draft 2.0: Midseason Review.

First, let’s review our parameters. We will draft from the middle (fifth) position in a 10-team non-keeper league using a standard scoring system that starts one quarterback, two running backs, three wide receivers, and one tight end, kicker and team defense. Since all drafts play out differently, we’ll need a little luck along the way. And, as always, our goal is nothing short of total domination and the abject humiliation of our opponents.

Now, with the fifth pick of the 2015 Perfect Draft, we should have selected…

Round 1: Rob Gronkowski, TE, Patriots. Thanks to injuries and/or limited effectiveness, most of the consensus first-round selections have failed to live up to their lofty draft status. Those who “gambled” on Gronk secured the most dominant player at his position. Like opposing safeties, he’s carrying them straight into the end zone.

Round 2: Odell Beckham, Jr., WR, Giants. Julio Jones has set the pace among fantasy wideouts thus far, but he was typically selected at the top of this round. Thanks in large measure to his TD hat trick on Sunday, Beckham has mostly fulfilled his owners’ expectations.

Round 3: Mark Ingram, RB, Saints. Somewhat quietly, and surprisingly, Ingram finished the first half of the season as the No. 2 rusher in Fantasyland. And with Khiry Robinson likely out for the duration, he should see even more goal-line work in the second half.

Round 4: DeAndre Hopkins, WR, Texans. Those of us who picked Drew Brees here weren’t complaining on Sunday. But Hopkins has been a true fourth-round gem, in spite of his team’s spotty quarterback play.

Round 5: Todd Gurley, RB, Rams. Keenan Allen and Julian Edelman were stellar picks in this round, but Gurley has shown how special he is in just four games. If he stays healthy, the rookie could vie for Fantasy MVP status by year’s end.

Round 6: Tom Brady, QB, Patriots. With 22 combined TDs and just one – one! – interception, Brady hasn’t looked this sharp since his record-setting 2007 season. You know, the one in which he tossed 50 TD passes?

Round 7: Allen Robinson, WR, Jaguars. Who would have thought the Jacksonville offense could produce two Top 25 fantasy wideouts? Robinson already has six TD grabs on the season.

Round 8: Larry Fitzgerald, WR, Cardinals. Fitz dropped to the eighth round because he had clearly lost a step. Apparently he found it.

Round 9: Devonta Freeman, RB, Falcons. That’s right. The No. 1 running back in the land was passed over in round after round, until some lucky soul decided to take a flier on Tevin Coleman’s backup.

Round 10: Philip Rivers, QB, Chargers. Nobody has passed for more than Rivers’ 2,754 yards, though Brady has played one fewer game.

Round 11: Danny Woodhead, RB, Chargers. In PPR scoring formats, Woodhead is a Top 3 running back. With this pick, we now own all three.

Round 12: Tyler Eifert, TE, Bengals. Thanks to Gronk, we have little need for another tight end. But let’s keep him off our competitor’s roster.

Round 13: Carson Palmer, QB, Cardinals. Just for kicks, we’ll corner the market on the top three fantasy passers, too.

Round 14: Broncos defense/special teams. We could wait another round to take the top D/ST in the land, but why tempt fate?

Round 15: Dion Lewis, RB, Patriots. We may never start Lewis, but we’ll enjoy watching the question marks appear over our opponents’ heads when we draft him.

Round 16: Gary Barnidge, TE, Browns. The over-under on hearing the word “Who?” is set at 15.

Round 17: Brandon McManus, K, Broncos. There are several quality choices here, but McManus has been nearly perfect and he makes 50-plus yarders look like extra points.

If it makes you feel any better, the final Perfect Draft roster will likely see plenty of turnover.  It always does.

FREE AGENT PICKS AND PANS

To win a fantasy championship, it helps to start with a great draft. But filling in your roster throughout the season with the right free agents is also important. Here's a look at players worth considering, and others who would look better in someone else's lineup.

Catch ‘em while you can

DeAngelo Williams, RB, Steelers. Williams proved that he could carry the load the last time Le’Veon Bell was out, even scoring three TDs in Week 2. Now he’ll be asked to do it for the rest of the season. If Williams was dropped in your league after Bell’s return, he should be your top waiver-wire priority.

Jeremy Langford, RB, Bears. For those who miss out on Williams, Langford could be a solid consolation prize. Since we don’t yet know the severity of Matt Forte’s knee injury,  Langford could be anywhere from a one-week proxy to a season-long replacement.

Kamar Aiken, WR, Ravens. Steve Smith’s apparent career-ending injury means Aiken will be thrust into a leading role in Baltimore. Joe Flacco has to target somebody, so until heralded rookie Brashad Perriman (knee) takes the field, Aiken is the top candidate.

Malcom Floyd, WR, Chargers. San Diego’s receiving corps is banged up, leaving Floyd as one of Rivers’ few healthy options. Though the veteran has struggled with consistency throughout his career, he can be a valuable bye-week or injury fill-in. Especially if Keenan Allen is sidelined due to his persistent muscle spasms.

Don’t be fooled

Brian Hartline, WR, Browns. Hartline had nominal fantasy value on occasion during his first six seasons in Miami, but he was mostly invisible in Cleveland until Sunday’s two-touchdown outburst. This is what we in the biz call “an aberration.”

Andre Holmes, WR, Raiders. Remember that word “aberration?” It applies to Holmes, too.

Jacob Tamme, TE, Falcons. Tamme was the primary beneficiary of Leonard Hankerson’s absence on Sunday, reeling in 10 receptions for 103 yards and a score. But Tamme is now in his eighth NFL season, so we know what he brings to the party. Hint: Not much.

Sunday morning updates -- Week 8

Good morning, Fools. It's a cloudy, overcast day in Dallas, but it's always beautiful on Sundays in Fantasyland.

Hope you're enjoying the Chiefs-Lions contest in London bright and early. Anybody else tired of these 9:30 a.m. ET games? Play overseas if you must, but Sunday morning games are BS. Imagine having to wake up at 6:30 am on the west coast to watch. 5:30 if you need to check the inactives... Ridiculous.

So enough of that rant. Here's what we need to know as we set our winning lineups:

The following have already been declared out today: Marcus Mariota, Carlos Hyde, Leonard Hankerson, Phillip Dorsett and Cecil Shorts. And I wouldn't plan on seeing Joseph Randle either.

Big Ben will be back under center for the Steelers, which is music to the ears of every Antonio Brown owner.

Josh McCown is also expected to play today. Sorry to those of you banking on Johnny Backup.

Reggie Bush will get the start for the 49ers in a rough matchup with the Rams, with Hyde on the sidelines. I'll pass on Bush, thank you.

Stevan Ridley has been activated and is the new backup to Chris Ivory in New York. If you're counting on the injury-prone Ivory, Ridley is an important handcuff.

It appears that John Brown (hamstring) will play today, though we'll be watching the inactives report. He's a WR3-4 option if he suits up. Michael Floyd jumps in value if Brown sits.

Eric Decker is optimistic, but still uncertain, for the late afternoon game. That would be a shame, as the Jets have a tasty matchup and -- seemingly out of the blue -- their Ryan Fitzpatrick-led passing attack is pretty darn impressive.

All signs point to the return of Dez Bryant today but, per my Friday Starters/Benchwarmers column, I'd resist the urge to put him in my starting lineup given the matchup, his QB and his less-than-100-percent status.

Davante Adams is also scheduled to return (finally), but he, too, has a very tough matchup with the Broncos.

Don't count on seeing Vincent Jackson in uniform today. Should be a huge game for Mike Evans, assuming Atlanta doesn't triple-cover him (which wouldn't be the worst idea).

Antonio Gates will test his knee during warmups and will be a game-time decision. He has a nice matchup against the Ravens if he gives it a go.

That's it for now. Inactives and other late-breaking news will be tweeted later.